I was going to begin this article with a story about a dear friend and a fine writer. But that would unfair to her. So, let’s begin this way. Some events this week made me think about the permanent influences of childhood, those which are still evident in men and women now old enough to draw social security benefits.
I know people who have survived and done well with one parent, or even no parent. Perhaps a worse situation, I’ve known people who grew up with disfunctional parents, with alcoholism being the most common disability that burdened whole families, and damaged the youngest children most of all.
Only now, as I enter my final stage of life, my retirement in which I have no intention of retiring, do I see most clearly the value of my childhood.
My parents were Max and Annie Linn. He began as an engineer and later an executive for the phone company, back when there was only one phone company. He also gave cheerfully of his time in a wide variety of charitable and civic affairs. My mother was a stay-at-home mom, except during WW II when she went to work in a defense plant, as many wives did in those times. She was an historian, and she also gave cheerfully of her time to charitable and civic affairs.
My parents did not teach me just by what they said. They taught by what they did. Were they free of mistakes? Of course not. But now that I can compare the whole of their lives to the better part of mine, the truth is that I have not matched the standard that both of them set.
What did they teach me? I will deliberately leave out part of the picture, religion. That’s because you who read these columns have a variety of religions. Plus, it is possible, though difficult, for parents and children to lead moral and able lives without the benefits of religious beliefs and motivations. So, here it is in non-religious terms:
Be honest, work hard, deal fairly with others, and always – always – do your best. And don’t be satisfied with what your best was, yesterday. Oh, and when you make a mistake, own up to it, and make it right as best you can, immediately.
You can see in that list that recent events involving politicians also encouraged me to think about these matters. I choose not to name those politicians.
My parents were not the sole influences on my childhood. I’ll name a few of my excellent teachers along the way. Paul Hyde, in pre-school, Miss Sweeney in sixth grade. A. J. Downes in 11th grade. Roy Barker in 12th grade. And there were others who were teachers though not in the formal sense. Anna Gallagher, an excellent librarian. Dr. Carl Zapffe, one of the best Scoutmasters who ever wore the uniform.
Okay, you say, where does all this lead? Get to the point.
I got my Eagle Scout award. I graduated high school with assorted honors, but most of all, with the ability to write. I got into Yale and graduated with a double major. More writing. Good writing.
I became an honest lawyer. No, really. For most of my career I refused to represent any clients whose conduct would require me to lie in court on their behalf. Most, I said most. Sadly, not all.
I still remember the day in 1974 when a branch bank manager gave me a half million dollars in bearer bonds for me to deliver to the main branch. When I walked out with those bonds in my briefcase, I was aware that half a million dollars was enough for a lifetime, and that there’s no extradition treaty from Rio de Janeiro.
It was only one of many times when I could have used my position to fill my pockets. On reflection from my years in Washington, those who do not steal, choose not to steal. The easy opportunities are there.
In short, as the twig is bent, so grows the tree. I was trained up right, and (mostly) have stayed that way. Those early years are powerful, but not quite inevitable in their impact. The child is truly the father of the man. My favorite phrase from the beginning of the Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus captures the idea, “Ladies and gentlemen and children of all ages....”
