Take It Slowly In Autumn
UNITED STATES—No more fertilizer! . . . almost. The main exception is turf that might need a bit of fertilizer if it must stay green through the coldest part of winter, but that is another topic for later. Otherwise, most plants start to go dormant through autumn, and should be as dormant as they get by the middle of...
Hashtag You
UNITED STATES—During the filming of "Mary Poppins," Mickey Mouse molested me. I must confess for many years, out of shame and admiration for Mr. Mouse's artistry, I suppressed the memory, revealed now only under hypnosis and at the request of Judith Regan. To this day, I am haunted by the ghastly image of that white four-fingered hand pawing my...
Leaves Are Starting To Fall
UNITED STATES—Autumn is slow in getting here. Yes, as of last Sunday, it is now autumn. The date is determined by the equinox, so is the same for everyone in the Northern Hemisphere, and is the same for the arrival of spring in the Southern Hemisphere. It just takes a bit longer for autumn weather to develop in the...
Who’s To Blame?
UNITED STATES—Now suddenly, the itch to get away was enormous, Archer felt choked by it. Night had fallen and suddenly, he was his father now, something he had scrupulously avoided becoming. He was his father without the shapeless black, London Fog coat. His father was extremely mild and contrary to the prevailing values. He never left the continental United...
Cool Season Vegetables Are Coming
UNITED STATES—It is getting close to one of those two unpleasant times of year for the vegetable garden. It happened last spring, and it will happen again this autumn. Plants that so dutifully produced vegetables through the last season must relinquish their space for plants that will produce vegetables for the next season. In autumn, it will be cool...
First Date
UNITED STATES—Giselle found herself on a date with Travis Knowles, who was almost as wide as he was tall. The very loud houndstooth design on his jacket could have been discerned from the nose-bleed seats to the end zone of the Colosseum. The very few hairs loyal to his head were painstakingly dyed dark red.
This was kind of a...
Indian Summer Is The Norm
UNITED STATES—The popular definition of 'Indian summer' suggests that it is unseasonably warm and dry weather in spring or autumn, and that it typically happens after frost. Well, that definition just does not work here. It makes about as much sense as our so-called drought, which is actually the normal weather for our chaparral climate. Weather that repeats annually...
Artist’s Return Part 3
UNITED STATES—Off Archer drove after being frisked and subjected to an elaborate sobriety test. The young sheriff told him that they had trouble here at the car lot, and then Archer saw a few pickups in the darkened yard beside the driveway where he had pulled off to sleep.
"Somebody had been using something like a can opener to open...
Groundcover Is Carpeting For Landscapes
UNITED STATES—If shade trees are the ceilings, and hedges and shrubbery are the walls, then turf and other groundcover plants are the floors of some of our outdoor living spaces. Except for turf grasses, most groundcovers are not as useful as hardscapes like pavement and decking, but they perform other functions in areas that do not get such use....
Artist’s Return Part 2
UNITED STATES—"Why do you have plastic bags?" the young sheriff asked. "Poop bags for the dog."
The young buzz-cut sheriff bid Archer to sit on the corner of the bumper. It was odd how a corner of a front patrol truck bumper could be fashioned into a nice little seat, while the park benches in the city were now ribbed...