Dear Deanna!
   I have been with my boyfriend for two years.  I want a commitment from him because we’re living together as husband and wife.  He says that he loves me and will be with me but he’s not interested in a piece of paper.  We dated years ago and broke up and later got back together.  I think he still holds a few things from the past against me like cheating and having a baby with another man.  How do I get him to move forward and focus on our future?
   Jeanine                                   On-Line Reader

Dear Jeanine:
   This relationship is on cruise control and will stay that way unless your boyfriend decides to press the gas.  He’s not going to give you what you want because there are many issues and too much baggage in the relationship.  You both need to figure out how to get over the past and decide if you’re on the same page with the commitment idea.  However, you should develop thick skin and be prepared to keep it moving if he indicates there’s no future.

Dear Deanna!
   My co-workers is dating our supervisor and this is causing problems with the other staff.  He’s an older man and she’s a younger woman.  He just gave her a promotion and she’s not qualified for the position nor does she have tenure.  Its to the point now where a few people have quit and those left behind have to do her job in order to keep the department flowing.  Is there a way I can address this issue without losing my job because our supervisor is nasty and vindictive?

Anonymous                             Ft. Worth, TX
 
Dear Anonymous:
   In this case, instead of getting mad, you should get educated.  You should review employee manual and see if there’s a policy about fraternization which is “in-house staff dating.”  Once you have that information, research your co-workers new position to find out the qualifications and see if she measures up.  After gathering your facts and research, visit your supervisor and if you don’t get the response you seek, visit human resources with your complaint and hope that you get a resolution instead of termination.

Dear Deanna!
   I am a secure single man and I live at home with my mother.  I pay all of my mothers’ bills and take good care of her.  For the record, I have no intentions of moving out and marriage and kids aren’t on my mind right now.  With this said, I am tired of women judging me, assuming I’m a freeloader or even gay.  Is there anything appropriate to let women know this is the life I chose and I’m comfortable and nothing is wrong?

Brian G.                                  Winston Salem, NC

Dear Brian:
   You’re a mothers boy for life and proud of it.  There’s nothing wrong with your lifestyle and if it works, then have at it.  The women that have issues are the ones that are doing the math and looking at you as a husband and your living arrangements aren’t part of the plan.  You don’t have to spend too much time explaining anything because whomever you chose, should love you for you and not make your living arrangements an issue until it’s time to get serious.

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