UNITED STATES—I always find it amazing how you sometimes never hear from family members unless they need something from you. I know this is going to sound crazy to say, but you truly know who your ride or dies when tragedy strikes. I say this because I’m reflecting on family dynamics after a medical situation forced me to upend my life to a degree.
I’ve already been working two jobs, while pursuing my doctorate degree, but when you add on the element of caretaker, it becomes a bit more exhausting. Why? It has resulted in me having no time to myself. I have siblings, 5 to be exact, and right now, only 3 of us have stepped up to the plate to care for my sick parent. Two of us more than anyone else, to the point that I have heard my brother air his grievances because he like me is burning on empty.
We take it day-by-day, but we both know we wish others would step up to the plate. I mean my oldest sister hasn’t seen or spoken to my mother since she was in the hospital. Completely ghosted. Hasn’t reached out, haven’t called. I’m literally flabbergasted because I can’t understand people’s logic sometimes.
With that said, my youngest brother is just as guilty, he went nearly 3 months without seeing or calling my mother, knowing her situation, and making matters worse, he doesn’t even work. He’s more capable than anyone of assisting my mother with her needs but simply chooses not to. Same for my older brother, some people simply give lip service, and it annoys me.
I hate to say it, but I don’t even care at this point if they step up to the plate, because I don’t expect them to do it. I just don’t. It’s even worse when you consider my aunts and uncles, with only my one aunt moving mountains to help my mother if need be and she lives in another state in the South. However, she has other siblings, one who was mere distance from my mom’s house and didn’t even consider stopping by to check on her. It says a lot of America doesn’t it.
I guess I could be saying the same about my dad’s family. We had a group chat for our family reunion, and I feel like I have been completely exonerated from it. You’re on the committee one minute and you’re out the next; make that make sense people? Do I care? For a moment, I did, but then I realized everyone has their own families, but at the same time, we are family, and we only seem to get together when something tragic happens and that is the sad reality.
We don’t realize how crucial family is until the people you care about are no longer with us. Tell them you love them, tell them they matter, just pick up the phone and talk, stop by and visit them. It can make a ton of a difference, compared to just sitting around living your life without a regard for those who are blood. That is the thing about blood, they will hurt you 10 times more than a complete stranger. What’s the worst thing about that? You’re expected to smile and act like nothing happened? That’s just not the reality but guess what that is life sometimes.
