UNITED STATES—I’m asked on a constant basis by so many people, why aren’t you more talkative? You seem to be pensive and in a state of thought all the time. Look, I’m not the most sociable person, but I socialize when it best suits me. I’m someone who is more observant of my surroundings more than anything America.

I scope my environment and behave accordingly. To be honest, I’m a high self-monitor. My behavior is dictated by my environment and the people in my orbit. On the flipside, there are many Americans who are low self-monitors; individuals who do not care about their behavior and how they are perceived by others around them.

Silence, why is it so powerful at times? Well, you learn more about people by just listening than talking on a consistent basis. You don’t always have to talk! There are so many people who believe they have to chat 24/7 and never listen to what others are saying. That’s not how you get to know a person, you have a dialogue, where a back and forth transpires, but more importantly, when you listen you pick up on things that you never imagined.

Someone might share something that might be completely overlooked if you don’t take that one moment to listen to something that might be vital to understanding why a person behaves or acts a certain way. Silence allows you to dig deeper into your thinking. Being silent helps process information, it helps you critically think, it helps you examine, to plan, and the list goes on and on and on. This is like if you’re having a conversation with someone, and you can sense they REALLY want to get something off their chest, its vital to allow that person share what it is they want to say, but then after they have a breather interject.

Share your thoughts, give feedback and take in what you hear as you hear it. It is like being on a conference call with a group of co-workers. Think about those who are always talking, those who never talk and the questions that are posed by some versus others. You get a bit of insight into the concerns that some members in management, those not in management and those at the top of the food chain have. You get a clearer picture sometimes from not saying anything.

We’ve been told silence is not a good thing, but it depends on the situation. If the teacher is talking, yes you should be quiet, if you’re in a movie theater, you shouldn’t want to disturb the rest of the patrons, when you’re at dinner with the family, conversation is important, but you don’t want to dominate the conversation at hand America. Pauses are a good thing, even though, I know there are plenty of people who would say otherwise.

So heed my advice, its ok to take a moment of silence to yourself because it allows you to collect your thoughts. Also at the same time, silence is like a form of meditation. It allows you to relax, decompress and just lessen some anxieties that you might have in your life. My place of silence is the basement. There happens to be a room where I can just sit and not worry about anything. There is not TV, no radio; nothing, just pure silence and I love it.

Written By Kelsey Thomas