UNITED STATES—Marriage from what I know it’s not easy. Let me be clear I am not married, but I have recently observed several couples over recent years who have been married for at least 10 plus years each or longer. Through observation I am learning a lot about marriage, the key thing being that you get what you put into the marriage. Those who are not willing to fix a marriage that has cracks or fractures, things will only get worse as time moves along.

A topic I really what to discuss is rather a marriage can be considered something of convenience. Some of you might argue, exactly what does that mean. It means you somewhat have the perks of being married, but you might not have the emotional bond or connection to your spouse that you wish to have. I know a couple who without a doubt appear to be in a marriage, where neither are happy, but for financial reasons have decided to stay married, even though it’s evident neither of them are happy. As someone on the outside looking in, that is quite disturbing to say the least.

One person continues to tackle the costs of handling the household expenses, while the other does what they want without suffering any sort of consequence; that is not marriage people that is what I would call absolute misery. It’s like having a job that you hate; you can only stick with that job for so long before at some point you come to the realization that you have to let it go. Sticking around with things any longer, could lead to an explosive outburst or something worse.

That same sentiment applies for a marriage, if the love is no longer there; I think it’s safe that a divorce should be in play. You run into a situation where tensions could heighten for the husband and wife, the children and inevitably other parties could become involved in the melee complicating the situation more. The other argument to bring to the forefront is that people indulge in such a ruse is to maintain a level of status in the social arena. The idea of being married carries a level of prestige and status that some just refuse to let go, and I have heard people actually admit it. They LIKE the idea that people know they are married and to some degree admire that they have something that others don’t have. The caveat behind that is the person on the outside looking in has no idea how destructive the actual marriage can be. It puts you on this emotional rollercoaster where one day things are great, and the next day things are so chaotic you begin to wonder if it might be best to call it quits once and for all.

When I think of a successful marriage, I think of my grandparents who were married for over 71 years, yes, 71 years America and that is an amazing feat. I continued to echo that accolade to everyone that I know, because I honestly don’t know anyone in my life who has been married for over 70 plus years. And I’m certain things were not always the best in their marriage, but they withered the storm and survived great losses. I mean they lost their first child who was stillborn; their son was murdered, they had to bury another son, and dealt with alcoholism. In the midst of all those challenges, the love between them never fizzled; if anything it got stronger. They would sit and just chat with each other during the day.

The world of marriage involves commitment, sacrifice, love, honesty, trust and much more. The biggest thing I’d like to argue is that when it comes to marriage if you’re not ready to give your all to your spouse than don’t get married. If you find yourself in a situation where no matter what you do, things in the marriage continue to get worse and worse as time progresses, it’s time to call it quits. A marriage of convenience is never a good thing for husband and wife, but children and any family members involved.