A Moment Of Solitude

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After years of procrastinating, I finally took a moment to do something that makes me happy: working on a screenplay.

UNITED STATES—How in the world do most Americans find a way to spend a moment of solitude if given the opportunity? Think about that question for a second before you choose to answer. I rarely get a moment to collect my thoughts and try to find a moment where you are able to sever or pull yourself away from all the potential stressors in your life? It is very difficult to perform such a task, the primary reason being you never know exactly where the brain will fluctuate to when you have time to yourself.

For the first time that I can recall, I had a moment of complete solitude this past weekend, where I just cut all the stressors out of my life. Maybe it was a sign that I lost my phone. Perhaps, the world’s way of saying you need a break from it all; we’re going to take the stress out of your life, because you can’t seem to do it. I was thankful for it, because it gave me the opportunity to do something I had not done in probably 4-5 years. I took time to write, specifically to work on my creative aspirations for storytelling.

Being someone who has loved the notion of writing a script or crafting the blueprint of a movie since I was in middle school, I couldn’t believe it has been so long since I wrote. Maybe it’s the fact that I have been so focused on this job or that job and school and family that whenever I get a moment to myself, the first thing that comes to mind is I just want to sleep. I wish I had an on and off switch for my brain just to shut it off, the anxiety I feel sometimes about the stupidest things that I shouldn’t even be concerned about. I’m realizing there are just some things out there that are out of my control and I just have to let it go. Let me repeat, just let it go!

If you consume your life worried about every single thing that you can’t control it will drive you crazy and you will never have that opportunity to develop that inner peace. The ability for me to write, reminded me of the creative juices that have always existed in my mind. Even more alarming was the realization that this is WHAT I AM SUPPOSED TO BE DOING! I had absolute glee I was so immersed in writing that people were calling my name and I didn’t realize they were trying to talk to me.

That is what we call ‘FLOW,’ people, the ability to be absolutely immersed in something to the point where everything else around you never matters. That is how I felt and it was something I really needed to experience to realize, I have been wasting my time doing things that weren’t important to me. The notion of just getting a paycheck or that fear of losing extra income has kept me in a bubble of sorts. I don’t think this is something that just happens to me, but I think all Americans deal with such issues.

I mean reading back the words that I wrote I was stunned that I had these ideas bubbling in my head for years, and I never placed them on a piece on paper. I was wasting my talent and as a result it was something that left me in awe. I’m sitting here asking myself questions. Why are you wasting your talent? Where is that drive that you once had as a kid? The only answer I could come up with is that its life, but that in itself should not stop one from achieving the things that matter most to them. The idea of crafting a tale means more to me than anything. It gives me an opportunity to unleash my inner thoughts; my fears, my dreams, my hopes, my frustrations and so much more.

I’ve heard so many people talk in the past about how it’s no good to have a dream if you’re not going to chase after it and I agree. It sucks that it took me just having that one moment of solitude to realize that I have a gift and that gift means more to me than most things. As a result, I cannot and will not let my talent sit in the waistline as time just passes me by.