UNITED STATES—I recently attended a baby shower of a family member and wow, it is amazing to see the journey of people. My nephew is about to become a parent, which means my mother is about to be a great grandmother. I knew it was possible, I just didn’t expect it so soon. It makes you reflect on life, that you turn your eye and next thing you know you’re knocking near 40, and people younger than you are moving in life at a feverish pitch.
It was a great outing. I hadn’t actually attended a baby shower since my oldest sister had my first niece nearly 20 years ago. In the past, baby showers were catered solely for women, nowadays they have become more unisex to get guys involved, which I think is great. Guys get to play games understand a bit about how carrying a baby can be such a chore for the mother. The father might hear about it, but they don’t actually get to see it America.
There was plenty of laughs, lots of conversations and plenty of catching up with family you haven’t seen in years and chatting with people you didn’t know. It is always great to meet and mingle with new people and bridge gaps. That is important to me because my nephew is in an interracial relationship. I don’t see it that way, you have people who do and for me, love is love and in my family if you looked at me you wouldn’t know that my grandfather was White, my great grandmother was White and apparently I’m descendants of slave owners.
You might say how is that? Well I’m Black, but that is for another column people. The thing about a baby shower is it made me think about kids. I want kids, but the notion of having kids scares me to the core. Why? It’s the fact that you are now responsible for this human being. You have to feed them, you have to bathe them, you have to keep a roof over their head, you have to clothe them, you have to watch their every move to a certain degree to ensure their safety. Life as you know it is no longer about you.
Why does that terrify me? I’m a bit of an anxious person, and I think my anxiety would be amplified with having a kid just because I think I would worry about everything, and I hope that is not the case. I don’t think I would be able to have a decent night’s sleep until my kid was at least 1, maybe 2 years old. When I have kids because without a doubt, I want to be a parent and bask in the joy of fatherhood, I’m just not ready just yet, but I would say in the next 2-3 years I know I will be there and this recent baby shower highlighted to me I’m nearing the world of wanting to be a parent.
However, you soon discover the cost of raising a child is beyond and I mean beyond expensive. Diapers alone, I don’t even want to think about how many diapers will be changed raising a child until they are potty-trained. Let’s not talk about the cost of formula, clothing, wipes, baby wash, ointments, doctor visits and so much more I cannot explain or tell you I just do not know fully, the cost of a child is nothing you can prepare for. However, it is NOT just about the money, it is patience.
You are going to be tested in ways never expected raising a child. You’re going to have sleepless nights, you’re going to have rambunctious kids, you’re going to be taking and picking up from school, you’re going to be doing countless activities, you’re going to have to cook meals three times a day if not more. Your life as you know it changes once you have a kid.
It is life altering as I see that with the family around me, it doesn’t change having the kid, none of them would take it back, but they note it ain’t easy, but seeing a child from birth to adulthood, will bring tears to the eyes. A baby on the way is a reminder that life is happening even if you think it is not. Live in the moment and embrace all the tears, chaos and excitement that comes with it, just as I became a great uncle this week. Yeah, the baby was not due till August 22, but when you least expect it, that’s when it happens people.
Written By Jason Jones