UNITED STATES—This week I really want to tackle a topic of importance that we rarely talk about in America: cheating. It is something so many people encounter in relationships; rather one is dating or married. Rather you have been cheated on or the perpetrator who got caught cheating, it’s not a great feeling America. So we’ve heard the theory that man cheat more than women, and I have to argue against that assertion. Women cheat just as much as men; the only difference is they are much smarter to not get caught doing it.

Not for one second do I believe that notion that men possess a gene that makes them more susceptible to cheat over their female counterparts. If the opportunity presents itself and a person doesn’t have enough respect for their significant other, themselves, their wife or their husband, temptation will indeed win out. However, I don’t think it happens to be a direct result of a person being unhappy in a relationship, I think it is the result of one placing themselves in a situation that heightens the potential for adultery or cheating to transpire.

I mean you don’t put yourself in an environment full of single women looking to mingle if you’re a married man; the same sentiment echoes for a married woman. A lot of this conversation is brought up by the recent news that broke over the weekend involving actor and comedian Kevin Hart. Hart was allegedly involved in a potential cheating scandal and took to social media to release a video apologizing to his wife, Eniko who happens to be pregnant, his children and his family. According to reports, Hart may be the individual involved in a sexually suggestive video where he is currently being extorted by the alleged woman for millions of dollars.

Look I’m not pointing the finger to argue that I am perfect, however, if I happened to get caught cheating, I’m not going to make that announcement to the rest of the world. I think we live in a world where you have people who suspect if they PUBLICLY apologize it makes the blow that they got caught cheating less impactful. It does not people, if anything you’re still a cheater in the long run. That is not something that one can just scratch off the list. You got caught, and the fact that you semi-announce it to the rest of the world gives them the ammunition to speculate and share their opinions on what they think happened and how the person who was cheated on should feel or how they should react or what they would do in such a situation.

When you announce to the world your discretion you invite everyone else to be the judge, the jury and the executioner in something that quite frankly should not involve them to begin with. That should be a conversation that you have privately with your wife, your husband or significant other. Why put your personal business out there for the entire world to consume. This is the problem I have with social media; way too many people utilize it as an outlet to divulge information that I think should be kept behind closed doors. Imagine how the person who was cheated on feels learning that the entire world NOW knows that their partner was unfaithful and the questions of should I stay or should I go hits a feverish pitch.

The thing about cheating is that if you do it once, I do believe it will become a pattern where one will always be susceptible to it. To make the situation worse, whatever you do in the dark will eventually come to light. Plain and simple, if you are cheating or you think you might be on the cusp of cheating you have options: 1) admit the truth to your spouse 2) get out of the marriage or relationship before you cheat, as I would argue if you are not happy why stay in something that makes you unhappy. Misery loves company and when you put yourself in such a situation, you have no idea what the consequences of those actions can be in the long run.