UNITED STATES—I have heard the phrase what is in an apology more times than I can count. However, with the invention of social media it seems so many people think that social media is the place to go when it comes to issuing what many people deem an apology. You all might think I’m referencing the apology that actor Will Smith issued last week to comedian Chris Rock after slapping him during the 2022 Oscar telecast in March. I’m NOT people. Yes, the apology should have come a long while ago, but I’m so sick and tired of people thinking if you don’t issue an apology right away it falls on deaf ears.

Let’s stop and chat about this people. A public apology does not matter if you’re NOT giving the apology directly to the person who needs to receive it. I have NO IDEA why people continue to utilize Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and a host of other social media platforms to issue a mea culpa; it drives me insane. If someone does something really bad or stupid to me and then goes on social media and issues a statement or apology, it means ABSOLUETELY nothing to me. You did not DIRECTLY apology to me, you catered to the pressures of the public sphere, that ‘feels’ you need to do something to appease them and how they feel.

That is a problem with our society that we constantly feel this need to force people to do something because we think that is the right thing to do. Who asked you for your opinion? No one, that is such a problem in this world, everyone has a freaking an opinion all the time on everything and they feel that need to voice that opinion no matter the situation just because they can. You’re not the one entangled in this apology fiasco, so the person who is owed an apology should be the voice of reason not everyone else.

So let’s discuss this scenario. If someone were to do something to me that is wrong and they KNOW they did something wrong, I don’t want you going to a social media platform to plead your case. You know why, you’re doing it for public show. That doesn’t show me that you’ve atoned for your actions; your goal here is to appease to the masses. Guess what? That does nothing for me and I could care less people because your words are being directed at everyone except the person who is OWED THE APOLOGY.

You do not apologize to people via the internet; you do it by talking to the person face-to-face or by phone, when that person is ready to talk. That is the thing about an apology; you cannot force it and it needs to be determined by the person who is in need of that apology. Just because you want to apologize does not necessarily mean the person on the receiving end has to accept it and you cannot dictate when the time is right.

The person owed the apology gets to determine that because sometimes you just need time to decompress and fully examine what has just happened to you. It may not always be that clear to you what has transpired and how you navigate the situation as a result.

Written by Jason Jones