UNITED STATES—America I have been trying, I have really been trying in the past year to do my best to rid myself of toxic energy, but there are just those people who test you and test you and test you to the point where you realize you cannot have this person in your orbit for your sanity. I am someone who has been dealing with a lot of turmoil in the past few months.
I mean I lost my grandfather to COVID-19, my stepmom was diagnosed with breast cancer and then pancreatic cancer a few weeks later, yeah a double whammy, I’ve been working nonstop two jobs, I don’t sleep well at night and other chaos that I just don’t want to get into.
This is not someone asking you to feel sorry for me, it is me asking people to understand that toxic energy (negative people) can add to the burden that you already have. In addition, toxic energy is NOT just people, but it can be hearing tales upon tales of all bad things taking place in your life or someone else’s life. Like, I don’t want to hear the same story every time I talk to you. I think some people just need a listening ear and I can understand that.
At the same time I don’t want to hear how broke you are every single time we talk. Tell me how does that help me and how does it help you? It doesn’t and if you’re expecting me to feel sorry for you because you have to pay bills, just like I have to pay bills, think again. Just a few days ago, I got into a major tiff, well it’s not a tiff it was a massive argument with my younger brother that just put me in the worst headspace ever.
Me and my brother are like fire and gasoline, we don’t mix. We used to as kids, but as adults not so much. I have good energy when I don’t hear from my brother, that is not to say I don’t want to hear from him, but when I do its never good news and for me and the stress that I’m dealing with, I don’t need it, I don’t want it and quite frankly I cannot handle it anymore.
Look we’re being honest here, he’s an alcoholic, I think he has been for quite some time and we have attempted countlessly to get him help, treatments, going cold turkey, constant conversations and nothing works. If every time I see you I can tell you’re drunk and you’re not able to have a coherent conversation we have a problem. I cannot help you anymore if you’re not willing to help yourself.
I’m not going to keep stressing and worrying about what I can do, the ball is in your court it is up to you to make the decisions that you need to make to change your life. That toxic energy you continue to bring into my orbit I’m over it, I’m done, I’m not doing it anymore, I’m going to love you from a distance.
Some people might not understand it, but its best for me at the moment to keep a level of sanity because I didn’t sign up for the negative punches that I keep taking and for what? You keep living your life as if nothing wrong transpired, but here we are people, the same performance, the same antics and I’m supposed to act as if nothing happened?!
Nope, not going to happen people and it is time for people to realize you have to eliminate the toxicity from your life. If you allow it to dwell on it or invite it into your orbit it lingers and then it impacts you. It affects your thought processes and then it causes you to lash out and those in your orbit who are actually bringing good energy your way feel slighted by your behavior.
Sometimes you have to take a look back and see what is taking place in your life to find ways to fix the things that you don’t want. Sometimes it means distancing yourself from family, work and a host of other things. However, you choose to do it, you are entitled to have peace in your life, don’t let anyone take that from you.
Written By Jason Jones