SAN FRANCISCO—San Francisco’s annual Haunted Vault attraction will not be open in 2020 due to the coronavirus, but clowns from the attraction are offering the public a different way to celebrate Halloween. Drag performer Peaches Christ and David Flower Productions are offering scares in a socially-distant form, with “screaming telegrams.”

Throughout the month October, residents of San Francisco can hire clowns to visit their friends’ homes and deliver a song, some balloons, and a scream. According to a description from Into the Dark San Francisco, the host of the offer, customers can “order a screaming telegram and have one of the terrifying Terror Vault clowns deliver a COVID-safe personalized message to your chosen victim. A scary Clown will arrive on-site to surprise the recipient with a song, some balloons, and a nightmare-inducing scream!”

Each delivery costs $50, and deliveries can only be made within the city of San Francisco. The “victim” must be over the age of 18, and must be at home between the hours of 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. on the selected date of delivery. For an extra charge, customers also have the option to include special treats, such as various sweet treats, or a cocktail of Halloween Hooch specially made by mixologists for the attraction, to add some lightheartedness to the scare.

Every purchase for a “Screaming Telegram” will support a local, unemployed performer, and will help to bring back future productions of Terror Vault.

Visit for more information, or to place an order.