Relationship Blues

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UNITED STATES—What can I say relationships are not easy. They require lots of work, and if you’re not willing to put in the work that relationship will falter.  Recently, a writer composed an article about the reasons why marriage has completely changed from back in the day and marriage is no longer the same.

The good ole days of the 50s and 60s are long gone. The idea of the woman staying at home, cleaning the house, cooking and taking care of the kids are over. We live in a generation where both men and women work; I know very few people who are married, where one of the participants is a stay at home mom or dad. I think the economy plays a big role in this. While things are rebounding, anyone who says we’re back to where we were before 2008 is lying.

So why is work a big factor in the crumbling idea of marriage? It creates friction, because money is an issue in why most marriages fall apart. Do I believe it’s the top issue, no? Money matters, but not as much as the public suspects. Arguments will arise when things are not readily available when you wish that was the case. Another issue that was discussed was sex.

Sex is a big part of a marriage. While there is that preconceived notion that men think about sex all the time, it’s not necessarily true. I mean, seriously, we think about sex every seven seconds? If that were the case, we wouldn’t be able to get anything done. Women care about sex just as much as men do, we just don’t always talk about it.

The problem goes back to work, if both parties are working all day, when you get home from work that might be the last thing you’re thinking about, it doesn’t help if one party is tired, while the other is in the mood. So what can be done to resolve this conflict? Compromise, it might not be easy, but it has to be done, the idea of setting a schedule to get intimate in my opinion is a bit odd and doesn’t keep that level of spontaneity in the relationship.

Honestly, I would argue the biggest killer of any relationship, particularly in a marriage is lack of companionship. You have to spend time with your significant other, otherwise that magic that may have existed when the relationship first started fizzles. Once that magic is gone, it becomes so easy for the husband or the wife to drift away, and if they get attention from someone other than their spouse it could be the death of a marriage.

Arguments have also risen that some couples only stay together for the sake of the children; I honestly don’t think that is a good idea. If you’re unhappy with your significant other, staying with someone for the sake of your children, I’m not certain is a good idea, especially when you’re arguing all the time. Children are not dummies; trust me, take it from someone whose parents divorced at an early age.

I recall when things got tense, and my mother and father were arguing what it seemed like everyday. That level of animosity effects the child because you hear things, and you start to make judgments about your parents. It’s never good to place the child in the middle of things, if anything you want to keep them out of your affairs.

The one thing that troubled me the most about this article about marriage is the idea that social media had a pivotal role. Yes, I will admit we live in a social media driven environment, but I’m not someone who spends hours on end on Facebook or Twitter; I just don’t get it, who has the time to do that, I mean pick up a phone or go see the person. I would argue that younger individuals who get married might have more involvement in social media compared to an older couple. If someone is spending more time on social media than conversing with their partner, that marriage is doomed before it even begins in my opinion.

Rather you’re just beginning a relationship, in a serious relationship or married, the biggest factor in any relationship is conversation. If you don’t converse with the person, the chemistry begins to drift apart, once it’s gone, its gone and very rarely do I see a relationship, even in my own experience reignite. The ship has sailed and its time to move on.