UNITED STATES—Mother’s Day it is perhaps the one holiday that stresses me out the most because I’m a bit of a perfectionist in my goal of finding the perfect gift for the woman who gave me life. The problem with Mother’s Day is what do you get a person who really doesn’t ask for much or fails to give you a clear indication of what it is she wants for the day where we are to celebrate all things mom people?

Trust me it’s a loaded question, one that is not easy to answer. I’m a major proponent that you never get a woman anything for the kitchen or an appliance of any sort, unless your mother SPECIFICALLY tells you that is what she wants. Why? Such items are NOT really for your mother, they’re for the home, and when I think of getting a unique gift I want to ensure its something solely for mom people.

So let me be clear: my mother does NOT care for flowers or candy or chocolate. Why? My mother is not a fan of chocolate or candy. When it comes to flowers, she likes to plant flowers, but she doesn’t really fall over if she receives a bouquet of flowers. I find flowers as a gift as a gimmick also. It’s almost like I really didn’t want to shop for anything, but I don’t want to look like I did NOT get anything at all so here are flowers for you mom.

So then you get to the gifts that tend to be common for mom on Mother’s Day: purses, shoes and perfume. Women say it all the time: I can never have too many purses. However does that actually hold true if you purchase a purse every year? I don’t like to do that, but I guess you can purchase different brands and styles of purses, but it might get a bit stale after a while people. You can then float toward high-end designer purses if that is something mom has teased for you.

Shoes are the same people. You have fashion forward shoes, sandals, stilettos, boots, women’s shoes can be so eclectic that if mom is asking for a pair of shoes as a guy you may not know where to start if you do not have a bit of guidance. However, again I don’t want to purchase mom a pair of shoes every year for Mother’s Day I want a bit of variety in the gift that I give.

So that may leave you asking then what do I get mom? Well you have perfume, but that is another gift I see mom receive time and time again so unless they specifically tell you that is what they want I would veer away from it. The same for bath and body essentials that can become common nature at this point if dear ole mom receives over and over again.

There is one more item that I think continues to stun women, especially Mother’s Day: jewelry. They say diamonds are a woman’s best friend and I do believe that. You can do a charm, you can do a bracelet, you can do a watch, you can do earrings or you can do a ring people. You don’t always have to go for a top tier piece of jewelry. Sometimes the smaller pieces that are a bit more intimate and deliver a statement are more powerful than a 10 carat diamond ring people. However, if you can afford it go for it.

The thing that I’ve landed on that matter the most is experiences. Mom tends to enjoy things that allow her to have an experience with her children. You might say what does that mean? Dining out. Take mom out to breakfast, take mom out to lunch, take mom out to dinner. Give her that bonding time with her children and of course make sure you tackle the bill. However, make sure you choose a place that is somewhere mom wants to dine at. Don’t pick a place YOU want to eat at, remember its MOTHER’S DAY, so mom is the top dog. In addition, dining out is not the only option at play.

There is always cash, but find something that you know your mother enjoys doing and let her do those things. Let mom indulge. We celebrate Mother’s Day once a year, when we should be celebrating it EVERYDAY. So don’t just tell mom you love her, show her. And for those whose mothers cannot be with them, just remember your mom is always watching over you and do something for yourself that would honor your mother. Do something that you and your mother used to do to strengthen that bond and those memories of mom even though they’re no longer with you. It might tough to celebrate your mother if she is no longer here, but the memories you share with your mother live forever.